From Materialism to Letting Go

With the inventory market on a tear and a president who's dedicated to creating America nice once more by rising our reliance on cutting-edge power sources resembling coal there's by no means been a greater time to buy a high quality bicycle made right here on the great aspect of the Mexican border wall.  Are you available in the market for a brand new bike that claims, "I am an American, and I wipe my ass with $100 payments?"  If that's the case, look no additional, since you'll need to purchase two or three of these infants :

Sure, meet The Wheelman Bicycle, the $35,00zero python-wrapped bicycle that screams, "I take conferences with Donald Trump, Jr.!"

So far as I can inform The Wheelman has been round for awhile, however I solely turned conscious of it final week when a publicist representing the corporate requested if I'd focus on it on a TV present.  I informed him that I'd, however that within the curiosity of "full transparency" he ought to know I discover the bike offensive.  For some motive he determined to maneuver on.

Anyway, this is the story behind The Wheelman:

WHEELMEN

PYTHON WRAPPED BICYCLE

$35,00zero.00

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Every Wheelmen bicycle is a custom-built masterpiece. The lavish finishings and particulars of this distinctive bicycle make sure that The Wheelmen is each murals and mode of transportation like no different. 

Williamson bicycles are hand brazed in Detroit utilizing highest high quality chromoly tubing. The body, fork, lugs, and stem are all handmade by Williamson, with particular person copper particulars and delicate logos brazed in place. Every part is wrapped with python or crocodile and hand sewn. Brake levers, gear system, pedals, and cranks are then assembled to your actual specs. All of our animal skins are CITES licensed, thus they're harvested in a sustainable and humane course of. As well as, no chemical bi-products are used within the tanneries. 

ONLY 10 OF EACH COLOR WILL BE MANUFACTURED.

EACH BICYCLE WILL BE ENGRAVED WITH ITS RESPECTIVE LIMITED EDITION NUMBER 1 THROUGH 10.

And listed below are the specs, which slot neatly in between "inventory Surly" and "inventory Budnitz" however are nearer to the previous:

Mainly it is your typical store bro's bar bike, solely dipped in plating and wrapped in lifeless shit.

Oh, this is the place the frames come from, by the best way:

Positive, they appear to be good sufficient frames, however you do not even get the satisfaction of ready round for a world well-known artisan who's in love with the odor of his personal farts:

However, in case you're enamored of The Wheelman since you've all the time dreamed of a motorcycle that appears like Ted Nugent is utilizing it as a drying rack for his underpants, then for the same impact I might suggest buying a Linus and draping it in roadkill.  That method you will have about $34,500 left over, which you should utilize to purchase 5 (5) footballs:

WOODWARD 

GOLD CROCODILE FOOTBALL:

$6,250.00

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The Woodward soccer is made to the official dimension and weight American soccer requirements.  It may be loved as a prized showpiece or for a sport of yard soccer. Every ball is hand minimize, sewn and assembled in Detroit, Michigan, and may be embossed with the title, initials, or private message of your selection. All of our animal skins are CITES licensed, thus they're harvested in a sustainable and humane course of. As well as, no chemical bi-products are used within the tanneries. 

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ONLY 10 WOODWARD IN GOLD WILL BE MADE.

EACH BALL WILL BE ENGRAVED WITH ITS RESPECTIVE LIMITED EDITION NUMBER 1 THROUGH 10.

Yeah, I am holding out for the golf balls coated in stem cells, however thanks anyway. In different information, do you know that no-handed using will improve your mind-body connection? Sure, as you all the time suspected, intense scranial strain is the trail to enlightenment.